but you are IN love with me. a bombshell i could have never expected or predicted. flattering, but shocking, unexpected. and then i think of the hypothetical "what ifs?" what if our timing had been better? what if you had vocalized your feelings, at least once, over all these years. what if you had told me instead of letting me go?
it's a hard bunch of questions to answer, im sure. they are impossible to answer for me, because i had absolutely no clue that you felt anything romantic toward me. you seemed so surprised and even unsettled when i revealed to you that i was a lesbian. i understand now that those reactions likely came from a much different place than i had originally thought. i believe that had i known, i would have given us a chance. i cant imagine not being close to you, so had our lips met, i would likely have felt myself split in two.
i would have wanted you, im sure of it. i would have wanted us to be something more than i could have ever imagined, because i could never not love you for loving me the way you say...
i wish, with so much intensity, that you hadnt shed your fears and your truth while at the same time inviting me to your wedding.
...there goes that regret again.
No comments:
Post a Comment