Dear Stephanie (age 14),
I see how alone you are, and I know how alone you feel. I see you walking down those halls alone and sitting in bathroom stalls during lunch to avoid being tormented for having no one to sit with. I know how hard you are trying to fit in, to be liked, and to laugh rather than to be laughed at. I know how you often question fate, and why it left you to play the role of the ugly duckling rather than the beautiful swan. Why is there DNA for "ugly?" I used to ask myself why I drew the hand I did, and why my cards represented nothing but pain and punishment.
I have to tell you, you need to take these experiences and all of the other ones, and remember them. Realize that there is a lesson in every moment, but some of them hurt as much as they educate. I am sorry to say, as dark as life is right now for you, you are going to have to hold on for a while longer. There are some occurrences that are in the middle of your path, and they will not be easy or fun to navigate. You will question your self worth and your desire to live. You will violate your morals, values, and ethics, and you will bring shame to yourself and your family. You will take deadly risks going against your gut instinct... I'm am sorry for being so blunt, but I wish someone had given me the truth when I needed it.
The most important thing I can tell you is to keep holding on, because there is a reason to. I promise you, it is always darkest before the dawn, and today, I am living YOUR dawn. Today I have perspective, blessings, love, friends and family. I also have dreams and aspirations that I thought would never be possible to pursue. I am capable, I am confident, I am a leader.
You are capable, you are confident, you are a leader. I promise.
love,
Steph, age 29 (2012)
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