Friday, November 18, 2011

seeing through a stranger

There is a man here, on the unit who continuously reminds me of Dad. He's younger, but has a similar build and large frame. He is tall and solid like a house. His beard and facial structure are similar, and sometimes I can't help but stare. A few moments ago, this man was asleep, or passed out in a chair too small for him. His head was back, mouth wide open while loud and struggled breaths sound like snores from his windpipe. It reminds me of watching Dad die. It reminds me of staying with him for hours as he nodded and passed out every few moments, like someone with narcolepsy. I remember being terrified of leaving him, afraid that when I returned he would be gone, that his irregular, audible breaths would have ceased... I've been staring at this man for several minutes, living vicariously through this sight, and trying to find my Dad, even the sickest awareness of him, in a stranger.


written: 5/27/10

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